Rank your marital satisfaction from 1-10. 10 is the ideal, almost perfect marriage, and 1 means you can’t stand each other. If your score is under “5”, then it is likely that some significant changes need to be made. Even if it is a “9”, there are still things you can do to make it better.
Marital conflict is an indication that something is not working well and needs to be attended to. Of course the more often and more intense the conflict, the worse the problem. All marriages will experience conflict, if not it may indicate some other kind of problem. The challenge is to use conflict in a constructive way to bring about needed change.
Here are some helpful hints to help you:
- Do not hurt each other with your words.
- Take a time-out if things escalate too much.
- Focus on possible problem solutions not blame.
- Try your best to listen, empathize, and validate your spouse’s feelings.
- Don’t share your conflict in front of others.
- Don’t stay focused on the past unless you need to learn something from it.
- Learn your spouse’s needs and attempt to meet them the best you can.